As the myth goes, the best way to get over a bad breakup is to get under someone.
Meaning if you want to move on, the best way to do so is by having rebound sex.
It comes from the notion that having sex without feelings is the most cathartic way to forget about the person whom you felt everything for.
If you can get it in real quickly with someone you don’t know, your ex-boyfriend really didn’t mean that much to you after all, right?
It’s about using sex as medicine for the broken heart.
The issue is while this is one of the most pervasive breakup beliefs out there, it’s not totally accurate.
As relationship expert Emmalee Bierly, MFT told Elite Daily in a recent interview:
… Sure, maybe that helps for a little bit — it distracts you, makes you feel good, gives you comfort — but for the most part, it doesn’t really allow you to grieve the relationship.
Yet, we all continue to use rebound sex as a means to move on from our relationships. Sometimes we just don’t want to face our feelings because they hurt so damn much.
Every girl has gotten her heart broken, hit the bar in an attempt to take back her sanity, met a random guy and taken him for a one-night stand.
We’ve all been there. It’s our way of taking back the control. It may not be the healthiest choice, but it sure does feel good in the moment.
We just want our exes to hurt as much as we do. For us, f*cking some random guy is our secret form of payback.
Here are 71 thoughts every girl has when she’s getting under someone to get over someone:
1. Wow, I’m having sex.
2. It’s been longer than I’d like to admit.
3. For the first time since [insert name] and I broke up.
4. Take that, ex-boyfriend!
5. This is just the thing to help me get my groove back.
6. I’ve been in such a f*cking rut lately.
7. What was this guy’s name again?
8. Whatever, who cares.
9. We met like three hours ago.
10. Damn, I’m drunker than I thought I was.
11. Hope I can get off.
12. It’s not worth it without an orgasm, right?
13. I’m going to force myself to finish just to spite my ex.
14. I wonder what he’s doing right now.
15. Wait.
16. No. Don’t think about that.
17. Focus.
18. This guy has a pretty good penis.
19. It’s always nice when a guy says “7 inches,” and it really is 7 inches.
20. Rebound sex is awesome!
21. I hope I don’t feel like a slut in the morning.
22. Who cares? I just broke up with someone.
23. I broke up with the love of my life, actually.
24. Maybe he was the one, and I just missed out on the best thing I’ve ever had.
25. I think I’m going to cry.
26. Omg, girl. No. You are not going to cry during sex.
27. That would be the most tragic thing ever.
28. OK, focus.
29. This is the best thing I can do for myself.
30. Is it, though?
31. Didn’t I just read an article about how rebound sex is actually the worst way to get over an ex?
32. Isn’t this supposed to mess me up more in the long run?
33. F*ck it.
34. I made this choice.
35. I need to get through this.
36. Oh, God he wants me to get on top.
37. I’m way too drunk to be f*cking with cowgirl right now.
38. Just go with it and make a quick transition.
39. This guy is pretty cute.
40. Maybe I just have my beer goggles on.
41. Sweet, we’re moving into doggy style.
42. I’d rather not look at this stranger’s face.
43. He kind of looks like my ex.
44. I miss my boyfriend.
45. No, bitch, you do not miss him.
46. Shut up, brain.
47. I’m just going to f*ck this guy like my ex is watching.
48. See, [insert ex-boyfriend’s name]? I’m hot, and guys want to get it all the time with me.
49. Is this messed up?
50. To pretend he’s watching?
51. Would he even f*cking care?
52. I bet he would care.
53. I’m sure he misses me already.
54. I’m sure he misses my dog, too.
55. Wow, I feel like I’m going to cry again.
56. No. I absolutely refuse to cry.
57. Keep it the f*ck together.
58. There is no way I’m going to get off right now.
59. I feel so empty and numb.
60. I think this was probably a really bad decision.
61. I’m not going to even go there until I’m forced to face this tomorrow.
62. As soon as this is over, I’m putting my dress on and leaving.
63. That dress that is really age inappropriate.
64. It would be nice to wake up with someone tomorrow.
65. Yet not so nice to wake up with a stranger.
66. Oh, good. He’s finished.
67. Throwing on my clothes.
68. I am so drunk.
69. I’m calling an Uber.
70. I miss my boyfriend.
