We’ve all been warned about frostbite, but if you have never seen what it actually looks like, then be prepared. Here’s a brave girl who actually documented her frostbite and posted it on Imgur. Fair warning, these images are gruesome!
So this one time in Canada, i got frostbite. I’m an Australian and I’m really fucking stupid. You’d think for someone surviving Nopeland for 20 years, the country of “Sorry” and Maple Syrup would do me some fucking wonders, but instead it kicked my ass. The background is basically i got way too wastey-pants one night in a new town in Saskatchewan (pronounced “Sas – catch – you – wan” if you’re curious) trying to make some friends and settle in.
I was blackout drunk by midnight, with no phone, no money and no idea where i was and i couldn’t find my way home. This is me and my friends a few hours before i disappeared. (I’m in the middle) Last i was seen was 2.30am. Now don’t mistake for this for a sob story, theres no complaining here. Just pure unadulterated idiocy. I went full retard.
Due to drunkness – scene missing… Cut to me, with moderate hypothermia and frostbite
This was the photo of my fingers about 20 minutes after i was found. Apparently a symptom of hypothermia is tiredness. So i was found in a ball trying to sleep. My fingers were also notably purple. It was 5.45am when i was found. At 6.30 a nurse told me that best case scenario i keep my fingers. Worst case, i lose my hands. High off my tits on morphine, still pretty drunk and alone in another country getting that nice little tidbit of information was pretty fucking terrifying.
But when it comes to frostbite its mostly a waiting game
And a game of blisters and trying to open shit with your elbows. The next few days i was taken care of at the hospital by some fucking insanely cool nurses and doctors. Everyone wanted to check out my sweet blisters and find out how long an Aussie can withstand the cold before almost dying. Apparently 3 hours is pretty piss-weak.
And now for my favorite bit of the story
While in a flurry of nurses and bandages and medication i was given time with the local specialist called… Wait for it…. Dr. Freezin!!! I know! My injury has its own pun! When people say theres a silver lining to every situation they are right. And its usually a pun. Anyway, he talked me through how my fingers are going to blister and puff. Explicitly told me not to pop them cos thats his job in a few days. And i did except springing a leak in my ring finger 2 days in.
So this was the day he popped them
And the biggest they reached. The pain and pressure at this point was verging on unbearable. i was taking opiates the whole time. Frostbite recovery is pretty well known for its pain, apparently. Doc Freezin described to me that your skin and such can freeze and die on a cellular level. The bodies need to regenerate it and the inflammation is the hurty bit. My hands ranged from “frostnip” to 3rd and 4th degree frostbite.
My next visit with Doc Freezin, he was wearing an apron and a face mask with a plastic shield over his head
With my hand over a metal tray, he cut my blisters with a scalpel. Puss went everywhere. EVERYWHERE. I think i even got the hospital curtains. After a few minutes i was completely deflated and this was the result.
And now into recovery
My hands are healing and i can use them again by this point. Let me tell you, having Imgur as a website that i only need to push one button for entertainment saved me for sure. Dr.F said ill probably keep all of my fingers. The only ones to worry about is my left pinky and right middle fingertip. I won’t find out until June. If i lose them i wanna make a sweet custom made prosthetic. Just like Margot Tennenbaum in The Royal Tennebaums. Fuck yeah. The moral of the story is: 1) don’t go full retard 2) try not to get blackout drunk. 3) but if you do, know how to get home. 4) find the pun in every situation
