Wednesday, August 5, 2015

9 Struggles Thick-Legged Girls All Deal With

1. Shopping for knee-high boots is an exercise in futility.
Your feet will fit perfectly, but good luck zipping 'em up.

2. Buying pants is a nightmare.



If the waist is the right size, you can't get them over your thighs. If you can get them over your thighs, the waist is WAY too big.

3. And if you do find a pair that fits, this will ultimately be their demise.



Every pair of "favorite" jeans you have had or will ever have inevitably winds up like this. 

4. The joy of wearing shorts vanishes when you have to keep them from crawling into your crotch every 30 seconds.



It's the wedgie/camel toe that keeps on giving.

5. Thigh-high socks are out of the question.



You couldn't keep those things up with rubber cement.

6. Being sized for ski boots is like trying to lock an elephant in an outhouse.



Always so comforting when the 18 year-old clerk has to use BOTH HANDS to cinch you in, like he's shoeing a horse. 

7. Skinny jeans are pretty much out of the question.



Unless you have adequate assistance for undressing.

8. Wearing heels sucks but it's the only way to stretch those tree trunks out a little bit.

Va-va-voom.

9. When crossing your legs, the top leg refuses to fold down neatly next to the lower leg.



When you've got wonder thighs and wide calves, that beyotch sticks WAY out, wreaking havoc on anyone who might attempt to pass in front of you.

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